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Separated Parents' Children's Activities: Who Decides? | Family Lawyer
Avv. Marco Bianucci

Avv. Marco Bianucci

Criminal Lawyer

Disagreement on Children's Choices

The end of a marital union or cohabitation does not end the parental role. On the contrary, it often makes it more complex, especially when it comes to making important decisions for the growth and well-being of children. One of the most common sources of conflict concerns the choice of extracurricular activities, such as language courses, music, or sports. Understanding how the law regulates these decisions is the first step in managing the situation constructively and protecting the primary interest of the minor. As a family lawyer in Milan, lawyer Marco Bianucci assists parents facing these delicate dynamics daily, providing legal support aimed at finding balanced solutions.

Ordinary and Extraordinary Administration Decisions

The cornerstone principle governing the relationship between parents and children is shared parental responsibility. Both parents have the right and duty to educate, instruct, and support their children, making decisions of major importance by mutual agreement. The law distinguishes between ordinary administration decisions, which concern the child's daily management and can be made by the parent with whom the minor is currently, and extraordinary administration decisions. Enrolling in a sports activity, a music course, or any other ongoing educational commitment falls squarely into this second category, as it significantly impacts the child's life, education, and time. Therefore, it always requires the consent of both parents.

The Bianucci Law Firm's Approach

When an irreconcilable disagreement arises, it is crucial to act with clarity and strategy. The approach of lawyer Marco Bianucci, a lawyer with extensive experience in family law in Milan, focuses first and foremost on seeking an agreed-upon solution. The path of dialogue, however difficult, is always preferable to preserve the child's serenity. If mediation does not lead to a result, the only alternative is to turn to the Court. In this case, the Judge will decide, after hearing both parents and, if deemed appropriate, the minor himself (if over 12 years of age or possessing adequate discernment). The Court's decision will be based exclusively on the superior and preeminent interest of the child, assessing which activity can contribute to their proper psychophysical development, inclinations, and overall well-being.

Managing Extracurricular Expenses

Another crucial aspect is the division of costs. Expenses related to sports, recreational, and educational activities are generally classified as extraordinary expenses. This means they are not included in the ordinary maintenance allowance and must be borne by both parents, usually in equal 50% shares, unless otherwise agreed or ordered by the court. It is essential that such expenses are agreed upon in writing in advance. A parent cannot unilaterally decide to enroll a child in an activity and then demand reimbursement of 50% of the cost from the other. The lack of prior agreement may lead to the refusal of reimbursement, unless a specific court decision intervenes.

Frequently Asked Questions

What happens if one parent enrolls a child in an activity without the other's consent?

Enrollment by only one parent without the other's consent is illegitimate. The dissenting parent can turn to the Court to request the cancellation of the enrollment and is not required to contribute financially. However, the judge will always assess the child's best interest before ordering the termination of an activity already underway.

Are sports activity expenses always considered extraordinary?

Yes, according to the protocols of many Italian courts, expenses for sports activities, music lessons, language courses, or other extracurricular activities are considered extraordinary and subject to prior agreement between parents. They are not included in the ordinary maintenance allowance, which covers daily living needs.

Can a judge force a parent to pay for an activity they do not approve of?

If parents cannot reach an agreement, the judge may authorize enrollment in an activity deemed beneficial for the minor and charge the related expense, in whole or in part, to the dissenting parent. The decision will be based on concrete elements such as the child's aptitudes, the financial sustainability of the expense, and its educational value.

How can I prove that an activity is in my child's best interest?

It is useful to gather evidence attesting to the minor's inclinations and desires, such as opinions from teachers, pediatricians, or psychologists. Demonstrating that the activity does not compromise school performance and is financially sustainable for both parents are factors the judge will seriously consider.

Request a Consultation for Your Case

Decisions concerning children's future and upbringing require balance, expertise, and a clear understanding of one's rights and duties. Facing these disagreements without legal guidance can escalate conflicts and negatively impact the child's well-being. If you are experiencing a disagreement regarding educational or sports choices for your children and require the support of a family lawyer in Milan, the Bianucci Law Firm, located at via Alberto da Giussano 26, is at your disposal to analyze the situation and define the most effective strategy to protect your interests and, above all, those of your child.

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