Decision-Making Conflicts in Shared Custody

Managing children after a separation or divorce is one of the most delicate challenges two parents face. Even when the established regime is shared custody, which presupposes constant collaboration in the child's best interest, significant disagreements can arise on fundamental issues such as schooling, medical care, or extracurricular activities. As an expert family law attorney in Milan, Avv. Marco Bianucci deeply understands how these decision-making impasses are not just legal matters, but sources of emotional stress that can paralyze daily life and, above all, harm the children's well-being.

Regulatory Framework: Ordinary and Extraordinary Administration

To understand how to resolve conflicts, it is essential to distinguish between the different types of decisions concerning the minor's life. Italian law, and specifically the Civil Code, establishes that parental responsibility must be exercised by mutual agreement, particularly for decisions of major interest. These decisions, defined as extraordinary administration, include the choice of educational path, health-related decisions (except for urgent and unavoidable care), and choices related to religious education. In these areas, the consent of both parents is essential, regardless of the time each spends with the child.

Conversely, for matters of ordinary administration, which concern daily management and routine care, the parent with whom the child is at that moment can act independently, while still maintaining the duty to inform the other parent. However, the line between ordinary and extraordinary is often a source of litigation. When agreement is lacking on relevant issues, the law provides for the possibility of resorting to the judicial authority, which will make the decision deemed most appropriate in the exclusive interest of the minor, sometimes suggesting family mediation pathways.

The Bianucci Law Firm's Approach to Parental Conflicts

Avv. Marco Bianucci, with his extensive experience as an expert family law attorney in Milan, addresses these issues by prioritizing negotiation and constructive dialogue whenever possible. The firm's primary objective is to prevent disagreements from escalating into a draining legal battle for the child. The strategy adopted involves a careful analysis of the specific situation to assess whether there is room for an out-of-court settlement, perhaps through the drafting of detailed parental plans that prevent future ambiguities.

Should dialogue prove impossible or the other parent engage in harmful conduct (such as unjustified refusal of necessary medical care or arbitrary change of school), Avv. Marco Bianucci intervenes firmly by activating the provided legal protection tools, such as an application under art. 709 ter c.p.c. or an application to the Guardianship Judge. In these proceedings, legal assistance aims to demonstrate to the magistrate which choice is concretely most beneficial for the child's psychophysical well-being, overcoming principles or score-settling between ex-spouses.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I change my child's school without the other parent's consent?

No, the choice of school falls under decisions of major interest for the minor and requires the consent of both parents. If unilateral action is taken, the other parent can appeal to the judge to request the restoration of the previous situation or, in serious cases, a review of the custody conditions. Only in case of an irreconcilable disagreement will the judge decide which school is more suitable.

What happens if the other parent objects to medical treatments or vaccinations?

Health decisions are considered extraordinary administration and require agreement. However, if a parent's refusal jeopardizes the child's health or is contrary to the indications of official medical science, it is possible to urgently approach the Court. In such cases, the judge can authorize the medical treatment even against the will of the dissenting parent, protecting the child's right to health.

Who pays for extracurricular activities if we don't agree?

Expenses for extracurricular activities (sports, language courses, study trips) are considered extraordinary expenses. For the obligation to contribute proportionally by the other parent to arise, these activities must have been previously agreed upon. If a parent enrolls the child in a course without the other's consent (unless otherwise established in the separation order), they will have to bear the full cost.

How is disagreement over issuing a passport resolved?

Issuing a passport for a minor requires the consent of both parents. If one parent denies consent without a valid reason (such as a concrete risk of international child abduction), the other parent can apply to the Guardianship Judge. The judge, after verifying the circumstances and the child's interest in traveling, can authorize the issuance of the document, substituting the consent of the non-compliant parent.

Request an Evaluation of Your Case

If you find yourself in a decision-making stalemate with the other parent and fear that this may impact your children's well-being, it is crucial to act with awareness and professional support. Avv. Marco Bianucci is available at the Milan office to analyze your specific family situation and identify the most effective strategy to resolve the conflict.